I think I have consistancy issues. Can you tell? It runs into every part of my life. My diet, my exercise, my religion to some extent, and now my blog. I am still job hunting to no avail. No one wants me right now. Maybe it's God telling me to suck it up and stay put. Although, I don't think those are the words He would use. It's not horrible, but due to the bigger company I'm part of, I need out. I am convinced it is run by the devil and his helper. Seriously. That's all I can say because I fear that big brother is always watching. On to bigger and better.....
I LOVE BEING MARRIED!!! Of course it doesn't hurt that I have such an incredible partner and best friend. I never thought that I, Alison Joy, could ever be this at rest. I feel content with life, relaxed, excited of what's ahead, comfortable in my own skin, complete, and just peace. There is no better feeling in the world than to know you are with the one God created for just you. For me! No one else! I love doing things for my husband. Even things I have never really enjoyed before, like grocery shopping, I don't mind now because we're either together or I just know that it will make him happy. I'm sure it could just be that we've only been married for 3 months. But I don't think, at least I pray, that we will never get tired of making each other happy. And I believe if we pray, we won't.
The week has gotten much better since my last blog. I feel much better about the new job and I think I can be very happy here. I know I can. I think I was just have a moment of panic. Who knows.
I told my mom I didn't like the bows. I think I hurt her feelings. She got a little upset with me. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but I can't handle the tule! Im getting very excited about the upcoming weeks. I have my first shower in 2 weeks and I can't wait!!
Now what have I done! We're a week in and I find myself asking this question already. Hopefully it's just first week jitters. You know, getting the hang of the new place. I'm sure it is. Right? I find myself detesting the reception desk. It's not the people or the doctors, but it only took a day or so for me to remember why I have been working so hard the last 5 or so years to be in managment and to get my billing and coding degree. I'd much rather be behind the scenes, doing my own thing. I guess I knew it was coming. I knew ther'd be some reception involved, however, everyday is a little much. I knew I was being hired as the Front Office Manager, I just didn't know that I am the front office. I manage myself, and any other of my personalities that come with me that day. I thought it was hard being three people before, I had no idea of what was coming. The grass is not always greener.....However there are still a few flowers in the field. There are many good things to my job. I'll let you know when they come to me. ;)
On to bigger and better! My, excuse me, my mom and sister's wedding is fast approaching. That sounds hateful doesn't it. I don't mean it to, but that's what it feels like. Every idea I have is not good enough or not as good as something else could be. Such as their idea. I guess in the long run it's fine, because I really don't care one way or the other. All that matters is I'm getting married to the most incredible guy of the face of the earth. And our life together starts in 7 weeks and 4 days. Just because it's going to start in a tule covered sanctuary with tule covered pew bows, that were fine before we glue-gunned them, and tule-covered candlabra's, doesn't really matter in the whole scheme of things. At least I put my foot down about the names spelled out in tule on the lattice work at the reception. Good Lord!! Was she serious? Who was I kidding when I thought my wedding would be stress free? Oh well, I'm sure it will be beautiful no matter what and the point of the day is not decorations, it's two people becoming one. wrapped in tule.......
I have one hour left until the end of a huge part of my life. A part that's make me who I am. This has been my life for the past six years and it is hard to say goodbye. Harder than I thought it would be. I always thought I'd skipping happily out the door. I didn't think it'd be hard to say goodbye to the doctors who made some of my days here a living hell, but I've cried with the first two. We'll see how it goes with the third. The fourth acted like nothing was different this week. I secretly think she's doing the happy dance on the inside. The "weasel", has not even been here this week, but when he was he said nothing. I'm dreading saying goodbye to my friends. I've spent the last six years, 8 to 9 hours a day with these people. Some of them are like family. I know we'll still have a relationship, but it will be different. I will miss seeing them everyday. I don't doubt the decision I made was the right one. I know I'm doing what's best for me. I think.
3 more days
It's a strange feeling to have 3 days left at your job. I really don't want to do anything. I don't care if it gets done. But then I do. I can't leave anything open ended. It's also weird to train someone who I have been paranoid that she's wanted my job all along. Why do I care now? I'm going up and up right? Whatever. I'm alomost done. Have at it!!
Our wedding is coming together nicely. Last night we decided Rehearsal dinner and catering for the reception. That's a huge load off my back!! I'm glad it's almost here. I can't wait to be Mrs. Will!!
more changes
Ok, so I quit my job yesterday. It was something I have been daydreaming about for a while, but never thought I'd actually do it. Don't panic! At least I have another job lined up this time. I'm going to a group of general surgeons. A little slower pace, but I like that thought right now. I really feel God's hand in this, which is the best part. I actually feel confident about my decision. SO that means another big life trasition for me this year. I can't believe how calm I am about everything. I should so be freaking out by now, but I'm not. I am getting married 10 weeks from tomorrow and I have no caterer, no marriage counseling done, no rehersal dinner and no cake. But I have a pastor and Brian and that's really all I care about. I keep waiting for panic to set in, but somehow I don't think it will.
Anbody listening?
Ok, ok, it's been like, a year since my last blog. But I was catching up on the other blogs and I decided to read my own and give everyone a Christmas update. Possibly even stay more faithful with this. It's great therapy to do this. A lot has happened in the year since I've blogged. Besides the fact I looked my demons in the face and stopped running, I got engaged (yeah!), passed a huge test for work, bought a condo and gained another nephew (baldy). It's been a full year. There's been one thing missing these last few months, though. My friends. I know that all of our lives got filled up by, well life, but it's time to get back to basics. I miss our group. I miss hanging out and fellowship. I was thinking the other day about New Year's Eve. I remember last year our dinner out, then realizing halfway through dinner I forgot to take the tag out of my new shirt. Then we all got to go to Deb's and play games. That was fun! what happened with us? Did we all find something better to do? Did we stop being friends? Here is my proposal: And Debbie and I have talked a little about this also, but we need to have group at least twice amonth. Maybe the second and fourth....whatever day everyone can get there. We need each other. Or maybe I just need you guys.....whichever way, lets fix it.
